Compassion (karuṇā) is to feel the pain of others in your own heart. It is this feeling that propels us to extend a helping hand to those in need. In English, there are three words – compassion, sympathy, and empathy – which have similar meaning and are sometimes erroneously used interchangeably. Let us see what these three words mean:
Sympathy: feeling for another
Sympathy is an emotion where you feel sorry for someone who is suffering. You understand what they are going through, but you don’t necessarily experience their feelings yourself and prefer to maintain a certain emotional distance. For example, if a friend’s loved one passes away, you might send a sympathy card because you understand their grief, but don’t feel emotionally involved with their pain.
Empathy: Feeling with Someone
Empathy goes one step beyond sympathy. It’s the ability to intimately feel and understand another’s pain by truly putting yourself in their shoes and experiencing their emotions. Empathy is not just limited to unpleasant feelings; you can also feel empathy when witnessing joy. However, constantly being connected to the pain of others can be overwhelming and lead to mental fatigue, especially for caregivers and healthcare providers.
Compassion (karuna): The Active Desire to Alleviate Suffering
Think of karuna as empathy with an added desire to take action to alleviate other’s pain. Compassion encompasses an awareness of suffering, a sympathetic concern that moves you emotionally, a wish to see that suffering relieved, and a responsiveness to help alleviate it. It’s a deep and active form of empathy that motivates compassionate action, helping us overcome self-centeredness and develop a sense of interconnectedness.
Obstacles in practicing karuna
Occasionally, we may face obstacles while trying to be compassionate. We may become judgmental about the nature of the person’s suffering. We may be holding a grudge against the person who is suffering that may prevent us from being compassionate. We may distance ourselves from the situation because it feels too painful to witness and get involved in.
In other situations, we may decide to throw our hands up and say, “ah! It is just their fate! Since everything is based on the law of karma, this guy is just reaping the fruits of his own past karma. Helping such people financially is not going to change anything for them whereas my bank balance will definitely go down.” We may also develop a sense of arrogance or pride (one of the six enemies below) saying, “I am where I am in life based on my own hard work, I deserve it. Let the others also do the same kind of hard work and earn their way up in life.” We forget at that time that life will bring about all kind of suffering from time to time and there will be times when we may seek help and sympathy from others.
On the other hand if we can provide timely help to someone in dire need, there is a possibility that the person may come out of the quagmire and do something meaningful for themselves. While growing up in India I saw it all the time that when some poor kids were given enough financial support to get school/college education, they were able to do very well for themselves in life.
What causes suffering?
In the Indian culture, six negative tendencies are listed as the biggest enemies of the human mind. These are
- kama (lust/cravings)
- krodha (anger)
- lobha (greed)
- moha (delusion/a disconnect from reality)
- mada (pride/arrogance)
- matsarya (jealousy)
These negative tendencies are usually referred to as “shad-ripu” (six enemies) or “ari-shadvargah” (a group of six enemies).
How are these negative emotions brought about? It is the ego which, driven by the past samskaras (impressions), develops strong likes and dislikes (raga/dwesha). When we are not able to fulfil our desires based on strong likes, or cannot get rid of something that we truly dislike, we develop frustration. It is this frustration that can manifest into one of these negative emotions.
Four attitudes for four kinds of people
How do we come out of this seemingly ever-widening web of negativity? Patanjali, in the Yoga Sutras, gives a very nice “formula” that we can apply to attain calm, serenity and peace of mind. In sutra 1.331, Patanjali tells us to adopt four different attitudes that can help when we are dealing with four different types of people:
“By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the non-virtuous, one can attain peace and tranquility of the mind.” (Sutra 1.33)
In this sutra, Patanjali divides people into four categories – sukha (happy), dukkha (unhappy), punya (virtuous), apunya (non-virtuous or wicked). For each one of these categories, Patanjali gives us a specific mental attitude which will help us stay calm and peaceful – maitri (friendliness) for those who are happy, karuna (compassion/empathy) for those who are suffering, mudita (delight) for those who do benevolent deeds, upeksha (disregard/indifference) for those who do wicked deeds.
Since everyone goes through periods of suffering in their lives, it is important to develop an attitude of karuna (compassion) toward those who are suffering. In this article, I’d like to explore how karuṇā can be consciously practiced in everyday life.
Compassion in day-to-day life
Let’s take a few situations from our day-to-day life and see how to cultivate and consciously practice karuna in these situations.
Active Listening
When a loved one shares a problem, try to become a compassionate listener. This means listening without trying to fix their problem, without relating it back to your own life, and without judgment. Simply being fully present can be one of the most compassionate acts. Many a time, we become judgmental and begin to analyze why they are suffering. Instead of listening compassionately, we begin to offer reasons for their suffering. It is almost as if we are telling them that they are responsible for their own suffering. This can only aggravate their pain. Instead, just by becoming an active and attentive listener, we can help ease their pain. We need to look at their problems from their point of view and have them tell us how best to help them.
Self compassion
While it is important to cultivate compassion toward others, it is equally important to be compassionate toward one’s own self. We run into the same kind of problems that everyone else does. When confronted with difficult situations that may cause stress or other negative emotions, we need to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we can offer others. Without judging ourselves or feeling guilty, we need to learn to stay calm until the storm is over.
Karuna in a broader context
We need not limit the cultivation of karuna to our near and dear ones alone. We can extend it to our neighborhood and our community at large. Offering a helping hand to someone injured in a fall or accident is an act of compassion. Just listening to someone in distress without any other action can be very helpful.
Karuna can help us grow spiritually
As Patanjali says in sutra 1.33 (mentioned above), by practicing the four attitudes (karuna being one of them) toward four different categories of people can help keep the mind calm and serene. Cultivating karuna for others and ourselves can help us reduce our own suffering by diminishing the influence of the ego (ahamkara). Remembering that the negative ego is fed by the gunas of rajas (activity) and tamas (dullness). When we are able to keep the mind calm, we enhance the dominance of the sattva guna (purity, pleasantness). Our practice of yoga, including deeper meditation, can lead us toward the goal of yoga, that of keeping the mind calm, free of all mental activity. We can keep in mind the definition of yoga given in sutra 1.22 – yoga is the cessation of all mental fluctuations.
Final thoughts
Karuṇā is not simply a noble sentiment; it is a conscious, spiritual practice that transforms both the one who offers it and the one who receives it. By cultivating compassion in daily encounters, we not only uplift others but also help ourselves in cleansing and purifying our own mind.
As Patanjali affirms, these inner attitudes—friendliness, compassion, joy, and equanimity—lead to “citta-prasādanam”: a luminous, tranquil mind, ready for the higher journey of yoga and life.
[Note 1] Sutra I.33: मैत्रीकरुणामुदितोपेक्षणां सुखदुःखपुण्यापुण्यविषयाणां भावनातश्चित्तप्रसादनम्॥३३॥ maitrī karuṇā mudito-pekṣāṇāṁ-sukha-duḥkha puṇya-apuṇya-viṣayāṇāṁ bhāvanātaḥ citta-prasādanam ॥33॥
[Note 2] Sutra 1.2: योगश्चित्तवृत्तिनिरोधः॥२॥ yogaś-citta-vr̥tti-nirodhaḥ ॥2॥
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