Habits – how to control them

Habits

“It’s 7 AM, time for my coffee.”

“It’s 9 PM, time for my favorite TV show.”

“I know I have an appointment to see him at 7 PM; however, I need to finish watching this game on TV – I’m sure he wouldn’t mind waiting for some time. “

Habits. We are all slaves of our habits. When a certain behavior pattern is automated, it is a habit. Most habits are so deeply ingrained in our system that we do them without even thinking.

How are habits formed?

When you have a pleasurable experience, it leaves an impression in the mind along with a desire for a repeat of that experience. When a similar desire comes up, you repeat that experience. The impression in the mind, called samskara, gets stronger and stronger. Now that becomes a natural response, and you may develop a craving for the same experience to happen on a repeated basis. This is what is labelled as a habit. In Sanskrit, this deep attachment to a desirable object/experience is called “raga”. When the need to consume some item becomes totally compulsive, we call that an addiction.

When we have an unpleasant experience, it leaves a negative impression in the mind along with a desire to avoid similar experience in the future. Now, when we have an experience which is “seemingly” similar to that unpleasant experience, but may be totally unconnected, we still want to habitually avoid that experience. In Sanskrit, this aversion to an undesirable object/experience is called “dvesha”.

In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, there are two sutras (sutra 2.7 ¹ and sutra 2.8 ²) which represent this behavior. 

There is a famous saying which is often quoted:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

It is not clear who the original author for this quote is. Many attribute it to the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu. But I have seen other names mentioned as well.

Habits can be “good” or “bad”

Habits are usually labelled as “good” or “bad”. Good habits represent behavior patterns that can be beneficial to us. For example, the habit of waking up early and practicing yoga on a regular basis can be highly beneficial. On the other hand, “bad” habits can be detrimental to us at the physical and/or mental levels. For example, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol or having highly irregular sleeping hours can be injurious to our well-being. Whether a habit is considered good or bad, we still don’t want to be a slave to the habit. When we are a slave to the habit and, for some reason, are unable to fulfil it, it can cause us anguish, anger, unhappiness etc. For example, even though waking up early and doing yoga is a good habit, on a given day we may not be able to do the practice due to travel or some guests being at home. This should not cause any kind of guilt feeling in us. We should be able to take it in its stride.

Some habits are actually necessary for our survival and well-being. For example, the habit of applying the brakes automatically when approaching a red traffic light is required for our safety. Similarly, habitually being able to drive on the right side of the road (in USA) is a safe habit. However, if we are visiting UK or India, then we should be able to modify the behavior and learn to drive on the left side of the road.

Many habits are based on emotional triggers – fatigue, stress, boredom, sadness, happiness – all can trigger established habit patterns. You may overeat when bored or stressed, you may drink when tired or even when you are happy etc.

Enjoyable behaviors can prompt your brain to release a chemical called dopamine. “If you do something over and over, and dopamine is there when you’re doing it, that strengthens the habit even more. When you’re not doing those things, dopamine creates the craving to do it again.” As we know, there are some people who crave drugs that they have taken for a long time, even though the drug, when taken, no longer makes them feel particularly good anymore. 

How to get rid of bad habits

As mentioned earlier, habits are represented by samskaras in our memory bank. An appropriate trigger can bring the samskara into the conscious space in our mind and we act accordingly. For example, when the clock strikes 7 AM, it triggers the samskara to have the morning cup of coffee and we automatically proceed to make coffee.  

One of the main themes presented by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras is how to diminish the influence of these samskaras and thus modify habitual behavior patterns in our mind. That way, instead of behaving like a slave to the habits, we behave with more freedom and authority and less reactivity.

The terms “raga” (strong attachment) and “dvesha” (aversion) mentioned above, are two of the five kleshas (afflictions) listed by Patanjali (sutra 2.3³). 

Patanjali offers these three practices as antidote to these afflictions (Sutra 2.1⁴), thus helping us take charge of our habitual behavior pattern:

1. Tapas (austerity)
2. Swadhyaya (self-study
3. Ishvara-pranidhana (surrender to the higher Self).

As noted above, habits are formed as we develop strong attachment to some object of desire. Through these three Kriya Yoga practices, we can develop enough will power and determination to “stay the course” and start chipping off the habits that we know are detrimental to our well-being.

Let us take the example of losing weight as one of the goals that many of us have. Of course, at a high level, everyone knows how to lose weight. It involves only two ingredients – exercise more and eat less – more output, less input! Simple, yet difficult to achieve. We recognize that we need to control all aspects of eating – what to eat, how much to eat, when to eat etc. However, due to deeply ingrained habits, we crave certain foods even though we know that these foods are undesirable when we are looking to lose weight. So, we end up overeating in most of our meals. Let us see how these three practices of tapas, swadhyaya and Ishvara-pranidhana can help us achieve our goal.

Tapas

Tapas is usually translated as austerity or ascetic practices. These are practices and observances that are done to toughen us up both physically and mentally, essentially building a strong willpower. Yogic practices of tapas may include maintaining a regular yoga practice consisting of asana, pranayama and meditation; observing periodic fasts; regular donations to some charity; or giving up some addictions – TV, social media, internet, smoking, drugs, alcohol etc. for a duration of time. As a result of these practices of “tapas” we can withstand the dualities of life that we are faced with every step of our life – dualities like heat and cold, honor and dishonor, good and bad etc.

In our example of achieving weight loss through controlling our eating habits, this would mean establishing a plan of action to attain our goal and sticking to the plan without break or interruption.

Swadhyaya

Swadhyaya means deep study so we can understand our true self. From a yogic perspective, the goal is to attain a very peaceful and undisturbed state of the mind. Swadhyaya usually implies study of ancient texts like the Vedas, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras etc., and then apply these learned concepts to a deeper exploration and understanding of our inner being, leading to self-realization. At a more practical level, Swadhyaya would mean to develop a deep understanding of all aspects of the actions that we need to perform in order to achieve any goal in life.

In our example of weight loss, having a raw, strong willpower is not adequate to reach the goal. We need a carefully understood and laid out plan of action. As mentioned earlier, the two key ingredients of weight loss are diet and exercise. For diet, it is important to have a thorough understanding of the nutritional needs that are based on:

• Age
• Health situation (diabetes, blood pressure, heart problem, kidney issues etc.)
• Ethnic and cultural background
• Vegetarian vs. non-vegetarian
• Season of the year (summer/winter/spring/fall)
• etc.

Based on these factors, one needs to carefully lay out a diet plan that is individually tailored, effective, practical, and achievable.

A similar approach is needed to establish a plan of action for exercise. This plan must also be based on factors like age, health condition, lifestyle, season of the year etc. A well-integrated yoga routine consisting of asana (physical postures), pranayama (breathing exercises) and meditation will provide a nice workout at all levels – physical, physiological and mental.

Ishwara Pranidhana (Surrender to higher Self)

Setting an intention, making a plan of action and using a strong willpower to carry out the plan diligently is all in our hands. What is not in our hands is to “dictate” the outcome of our endeavors. If our goal to lose 10 lbs in a certain period of time is not met, we don’t want the ego to impose self-judgment, self-criticism, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of guilt etc. Whatever is the outcome, we must accept it gracefully. Maybe our goals were unrealistic to begin with, or maybe something was lacking in our understanding and approach. All we need to do is to re-calibrate our plans and continue with the endeavor without feeling upset or disheartened.

Meditation – key to mind control

As mentioned earlier, willpower is a function of the mind. The practice of yoga is all about controlling and stilling the mind (sutra 1.2⁵). As we know, ego tries its best to derail the mind from its resolve. The resulting wavering of the willpower is a fluctuation of the mind. It is through the practice of yoga that we can still the mind. As per Patanjali, meditation is the most important of the yoga practices and is the key to stilling the mind. So, in order to develop a strong, unwavering willpower it is important to allocate a certain amount of time for meditation on a daily basis.

The key to success is to establish a regular, preferably daily, yoga routine that consists of asana, pranayama and meditation. Patanjali, in sutra 1.14⁶, states that practice (abhyasa) becomes firmly established when carried out for a long time, uninterrupted and with a sense of devotion and trust.

A regular practice can develop a strong willpower that can help us take full control of our habits and patterns of behavior. That way, we can easily identify habits that are detrimental to our well-being and either eradicate them or change them for those that help in our well-being.

^{1. Sutra 2.7: सुखानुशयी रागः॥७॥ sukha-anuśayī rāgaḥ ॥7॥ Attachment is that (fluctuation of the mind) which follows identification with pleasurable experiences.↩}

^{2. Sutra 2.8: दुःखानुशयी द्वेषः॥८॥ duḥkha-anuśayī dveṣaḥ ॥8॥ Aversion is that (fluctuation of the mind) which follows identification with painful experiences.↩}

^{3. Sutra 2.3: अविद्यास्मितारागद्वेषाभिनिवेशाः क्लेशाः॥३॥ avidyā-asmitā-rāga-dveṣa-abhiniveśaḥ kleśāḥ ॥3॥ Ignorance, egoism, attachment, hatred, and clinging to bodily life are the five afflictions (kleshas).↩}

^{4. Sutra 2.1: तपःस्वाध्यायेश्वरप्रणिधानानि क्रियायोगः॥१॥ tapaḥ svādhyāy-eśvarapraṇidhānāni kriyā-yogaḥ ॥1॥ Tapas (austerity or sturdy self‐discipline ‐ mental, moral and physical), Svadhyaya (repetition of sacred Mantras or study of sacred literature) and Isvara‐pranidhana (complete surrender to God) are Kriya‐yoga (Yoga in the form of action).↩}

^{5. Sutra 1.2: योगश्चित्तवृत्तिनिरोधः॥२॥ yogaś-citta-vr̥tti-nirodhaḥ ॥2॥ The restraint of the modifications of the mind-stuff is Yoga.↩}

^{6. Sutra 1.14: स तु दीर्घकालनैरन्तर्यसत्कारासेवितो दृढभूमिः॥१४॥ sa tu dīrghakāla nairantarya satkāra-āsevito dr̥ḍhabhūmiḥ ॥14॥ Practice (abhyasa) becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness.↩}