Almost everyone experiences situations which cause anger. Anger is usually accompanied by fear, frustration, powerlessness etc. On the one hand, it can lead to uncontrolled, violet behavior. On the other, we can temporarily suppress it but deep down it can keep simmering, ready to explode given a suitable trigger. A few common examples of situations that can cause anger:
- you have to wait for someone who is late for an appointment
- getting stuck in traffic
- getting into an accident where you think the other person was at fault
- you suddenly thought of something that happened long time ago when you could have behaved differently
- a current event triggers the memory of a past traumatic experience
- At work, you present a unique, creative approach that can help the company’s bottom line. Someone else picks on the idea and develops a plan which gets approved by the company.
- Etc. …
We get angry over small, insignificant things. A husband gets angry with his wife because she doesn’t cook the same way as his mother did. A wife gets angry with her husband because he doesn’t know how to organize his wardrove like her father did. Parents get angry with their kids because they didn’t get the grades that were expected of them, or their room is too cluttered etc. A corporate worker is angry if he doesn’t get the promotion that he was expecting despite “working hard” for it.
Anger is a part of life. Depending upon the individual, the same situation can make one extremely angry while another person can stay calm during the situation.
In almost all situations that cause anger, the ego plays a major role. It is the ego which makes us believe that “my way is the right way, everyone else is wrong”. It is the ego which does the comparison and manipulation of the situation at hand and makes an assessment that the things are not the way it wants them to be and decides to get angry.
In an article that I wrote some time ago, I talked about the four functions of the mind and how the ego tends to dominate the intellect for the most part, which leads to poor choices in life causing frustration and anger.
“Ladder of destruction” in the Bhagavad Gita
In the Bhagavad Gita there are two famous shlokas (2.62 and 2.63) wherein Lord Krishna talks to Arjuna about anger and how it can lead to self-destruction.
Shloka 2.62:
ध्यायतो विषयान्पुंस: सङ्गस्तेषूपजायते |
सङ्गात्सञ्जायते काम: कामात्क्रोधोऽभिजायते || 62||
dhyāyato viṣhayān puṁsaḥ saṅgas teṣhūpajāyate
saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ kāmāt krodho ’bhijāyate
While dwelling on the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them; and from such attachment lust develops, and lust gives rise to anger.
Shloka 2.63:
क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोह: सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रम: |
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति || 63||
krodhād bhavati sammohaḥ sammohāt smṛiti-vibhramaḥ
smṛiti-bhranśhād buddhi-nāśho buddhi-nāśhāt praṇaśhyati
Anger gives rise to delusion; delusion leads to loss of memory; through loss of memory reason is shattered; and loss of reason leads to total destruction.
An article on anger in Wikipedia makes a similar statement: “Anger, in its strong form, impairs one’s ability to process information and to exert cognitive control over their behavior. An angry person may lose his/her objectivity, empathy, prudence or thoughtfulness and may cause harm to others. There is a sharp distinction between anger and aggression (verbal or physical, direct or indirect) even though they mutually influence each other. While anger can activate aggression or increase its probability or intensity, it is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for aggression.”
Six enemies of the mind
Anger is recognized as one of our most powerful enemies. It is one of the six negative tendencies usually mentioned in our scriptures:
- kāma (lust)
- krodha (anger)
- lobha (greed)
- moha (delusion)
- mada (arrogance)
- mātsarya (jealousy)
All these are a result of a strong negative ego (ahankara), an ego that prevents us from discriminating between real and unreal, between what is true and what is false.
How to control anger
We need to recognize that anger is a reaction that happens in the mind as a result of something external to us – a person, event, situation etc. or something that we pull out of our memory. For example, a memory of some childhood incident of abuse or mistreatment can cause anger. The key fact to note is that if I am angry, anger is happening in “my” mind. Since it is my mind, I should be able to take charge of my own mind rather than letting external events or past memories cause disturbance in my mind. This is where we need to turn to the practice of yoga where yoga is defined (sutra 1.2) as “chitta vritti nirodhah” (yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind) by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras. Since anger can be thought of as a fluctuation of the mind, it can be controlled through the practice of yoga. For the purposes of practicing yoga, Patanjali has further presented an 8-limbed path of yoga, called “ashtanga yoga”. By an assiduous, uninterrupted practice of yoga, once can attain a mind that is free of impurities and can stay calm even under the most trying circumstances.
In one of the oft-quoted sutras (sutra 1.33), Patanjali divides people in four broad categories. Then he prescribes a specific attitude to adopt for each of these categories; this will ultimately bring a sense of calm and pleasantness to the mind.
Sutra 1.33
मैत्रीकरुणामुदितोपेक्षणां सुखदुःखपुण्यापुण्यविषयाणां भावनातश्चित्तप्रसादनम्॥३३॥
maitrī karuṇā mudito-pekṣāṇāṁ-sukha-duḥkha puṇya-apuṇya-viṣayāṇāṁ bhāvanātaḥ citta-prasādanam ॥33॥
By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness.
The four categories of people mentioned are happy, miserable, virtuous and wicked. If we can adopt the appropriate attitude as given in the sutra above, we can attain a very peaceful and pleasant state of the mind. Obviously, when we are in such a mental state, a situation that would normally cause anger, may not do so anymore.
Another technique that is very highly recommended is to adopt the opposite of an otherwise disturbing or negative tendency that might end up in causing more misery for us.
“pratipaksha bhavana” (opposite attitude) in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali
According to sage Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras, by practicing the eight limbs of yoga, we can develop a keen sense of discrimination which will help us go past the ego and make us realize our true self. Patanjali also gives the concept of “pratipaksha bhavana” or the “opposite attitude” (Sutras 2.33 and 2.34) which can help overcome any negative tendency. By recognizing that these negative thoughts are the cause for infinite misery and unending ignorance, one can develop this opposite attitude. For example, when you feel angry, you may be able to develop compassion and sympathy by invoking this “opposite attitude”.
Sutra 2.33
वितर्कबाधने प्रतिपक्षभावनम्॥३३॥
vitarka-bādhane pratiprakṣa-bhāvanam ॥33॥
When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite [positive] ones should be thought of. This is pratipaksha bhavana.
Sutra 2.34
वितर्का हिंसादयः कृतकारितानुमोदिता लोभक्रोधमोहपूर्वका मृदुमध्याधिमात्रा दुःखाज्ञानानन्तफला इति प्रतिपक्षभावनम्॥३४॥
vitarkā hiṁsādayaḥ kr̥ta-kārita-anumoditā lobha-krodha-moha-āpūrvakā mr̥du-madhya adhimātrā duḥkha-ajñāna-ananta-phalā iti pratiprakṣa-bhāvanam ॥34॥
When negative thoughts of acts such as violence, etc. are done by oneself, caused to be done by others or even approved of; whether incited by greed, anger or delusion, whether indulged in with mild, medium or extreme intensity; they are based on ignorance and are bound to bring pain and suffering. Reflecting thus is called “pratipaksha bhavana”.
A Zen Story
Here is a little Zen story telling us the truth about anger and how to deal with it.
A student to Bankei (Japanese Zen master):
‘Master, I have an ungovernable temper – how can I cure it?’
‘Show me this temper,’ said Bankei, ‘it sounds fascinating.’
‘I am not angry right now,’ said the student, ‘so I can’t show it to you.’
‘Well then,’ said Bankei, ‘bring it to me when you have it.’
‘But I can’t bring it just when I happen to have it,’ protested the student. ‘It arises unexpectedly, and I would surely lose it before I got it to you.’
‘In that case,’ said Bankei, ‘it cannot be part of your true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you – so it must come into you from the outside. I suggest that whenever it gets into you, you beat yourself with a stick until the temper can’t stand it, and runs away.’
Another Buddhist saying, “Holding on to anger is like holding burning hot coal in your hand. Before you can hurl it at someone else, you are getting burned yourself”.
Practicing meditation regularly
Of the eight limbs of yoga mentioned above, according to Patanjali, meditation is the most important and the most effective practice to still the mind. It is important to allocate time for a daily meditation practice. Meditation helps in subduing the influence of the past impressions (called samskaras) that are stored deep in our subconscious levels. Anger is provoked in response to these samskaras that dictate how everything should be based on our likes and dislikes. When things don’t go our way, we respond with anger.
You may like to visit this article on my blog wherein I have presented some basic and simple techniques of meditation along with guidelines to establish a daily meditation routine.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how you deal with situations that provoke anger in you.
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