Vairāgya (non-attachment/dispassion) is a key concept presented in Indian spiritual philosophy. Many of the texts including the Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and the Upanishads (see below for a few selected verses from these texts) emphasize the value of vairagya in eliminating suffering (commonly experienced stresses and strains in daily life) leading to a life full of peace and joy.
The word Vairagya (वैराग्य – vairāgya) is derived from the word ‘rāga’ (likes, attraction, attachment), the attraction which arises due to pleasure derived from any life experience. Vairagya is the opposite of ‘raga’ and means the absence of attachment to the pleasure that we derive from the objects of desire. Even though the word vairagya is derived from ‘raga’, it also includes the opposite of raga called ‘dvesha’ (dislike) which arises as a result of dislike or repulsion toward an object. Raga (likes) and dvesha (dislikes) are strong negative forces which create disturbance and pain in the mind.
When discussing the concept of vairagya in my yoga classes, I often get asked questions like: “How can I serve the needs of my family if I am not attached to the family members?”, or, “how can I perform my best at work if I have no attachment to my work or the goals that I want to achieve?”
Most of us are deeply attached to our material possessions like wealth, house, vehicles, jewelry, and other similar items. Similarly, we are attached to our body, mind, intellectual capabilities; our feelings and emotions; our ideas of right and wrong and so much more.
Understanding the concept of vairagya (non-attachment) involves recognizing how attachment can be harmful, undesirable, and a source of suffering in our lives. Attachment causes suffering because it ties our happiness and peace to external factors, which are constantly changing and beyond our control. We fail to recognize that lasting happiness cannot come from things that are temporary. As we know, all our possessions – wealth, house etc. – are impermanent. Our clinging to entities that are impermanent creates anxiety, dissatisfaction, and emotional turmoil.
In this article, I’d like to explore the concept of vairagya and how to practice it in a few life situations. Practicing vairagya (detachment) in daily life, especially when we are deeply connected to family, work, and other life situations, can be a subtle and challenging journey. Being detached doesn’t mean neglecting or abandoning our loved ones or our duties toward them. Rather, we need to shift our viewpoint regarding people and situations and how we relate to them.
We often claim that we are attached to our spouse, parents or kids because we love them, care for them and we want the best for them. Often this attachment translates to being attached to our own ideas of what’s right and what’s wrong. When our loved one to whom we are attached does or says something which does not match our idea of what’s right, we become all upset.
Let us take a few examples from our day-to-day life and see how we can apply the principle of vairagya in these situations.
Relationship with spouse
For example, my idea of love may be that my spouse MUST give me an expensive gift on my birthday. If that doesn’t happen, I get angry, upset and frustrated and may say something like, “You don’t love me because you even forgot that it is my birthday today and you never gave me a birthday gift!” These ideas of what’s right and wrong are all based on our samskaras (past impressions) which are etched deep in subconscious levels of our memory. It is our reactions based on attachment that become the cause of suffering and mental agony for us. That is why we need to cultivate and nurture the value of vairagya. In a relationship like this, we need to let go of any expectations. Instead of expecting our spouse to behave or act in a certain way, we need to allow them to be themselves. We need to recognize that happiness comes from within. This comes about when we detach from the “need to be right” and focus on open and peaceful communication bereft of any emotional entanglement.
Relationship with the kids
Attachment to our children is reflected in our feeling that we are responsible for their welfare, success and happiness. We feel upset and distressed when they make mistakes or do not perform in academics or sports to our expectations. We feel elated when the kids do well in school or any athletic endeavor. Here is a common scenario in most households with teenage kids: The child goes out to spend the evening with friends. The parents expect the child back home by 8 PM. However, the kid is not back by even 8:30. The parents now start worrying endlessly, playing all kinds of disaster scenarios in their minds – the child may have met with an accident, or may have had too much to drink etc. – and stay awake in a state of panic until the child gets home safely.
When we cultivate vairagya, we allow children to learn and grow from their own experience, success or failure. We encourage them to be independent while continuing to offer love, guidance and support. This way the kids become more self-dependent and free to chart their own course in life.
Attachment at Workplace
In the workplace, most common forms of attachment include desire for promotion, salary raise, any other form of recognition like a new title etc., more control, outcomes etc. Not achieving the desired end goal may result in stress, frustration and emotional upheaval. It can also lead to a feeling of inadequacy or injustice resulting in a lower morale which can only jeopardize further growth. Here are a few examples of how one can cultivate vairagya in a few scenarios at workplace:
Attachment to promotion/recognition: it is best to focus on the effort that you put in and also the learning that comes through working on the project rather than the expected outcome. Treat it as an opportunity to learn new skills so you can perform at a higher level in future.
Attachment to perfection and control as a team lead: This type of attachment can lead to burnout and frustration. To cultivate vairagya, it is important to understand that nothing is perfect. You must see mistakes and shortcomings as new opportunities for growth.
Attachment to approval from seniors and colleagues: When you seek approval, you may compromise your own values and principles. Any hint of non-approval may lead to a loss of self-worth or a sense of inferiority. To develop vairagya, you may practice finding validation within yourself by staying true to your own values. You may view criticism from others as an opportunity for growth.
The concepts of Karma Yoga (presented below) as presented in the Bhagavad Gita can become a valuable tool in cultivating vairagya at workplace.
Above, I have provided a few sample scenarios highlighting the value of vairagya in familiar situations. As we know, the list of entities that we are attached to is almost endless. Any kind of attachment results in suffering in the form of anxiety, dissatisfaction, and emotional turmoil because it ties our happiness and peace to external factors, which are constantly changing and beyond our control. It is through the practice of vairagya that we can achieve a true sense of freedom and lasting peace which is undisturbed by the constant change that life presents us with.
Discussion of vairagya in ancient texts
Yoga Sutras of Patanjali
As we recall, the definition and the purpose of yoga given in the YSP is to “subdue the fluctuations that are constantly going on in the mind” – “yogash-chitta-vritti-nirodhaH” (sutra 1.21). In sutra 1.126 Patanjali states that these fluctuations can be subdued through “abhyasa” (practice) and “vairagya” (non-attachment).
Two levels of vairagya
Patanjali discusses two levels of vairagya in the sutras. One is usually referred to as “apara vairagya” (lower form of dispassion) and the other “para vairagya” (highest form of dispassion).
The lower form of vairagya is discussed in the sutra 1.152 :
The consciousness of self-mastery in one who is free from craving for objects seen or heard about is non-attachment. (sutra 1.15)
The word “drishta” (seen) in the sutra is supposed to include the attraction that we feel through all the five senses – sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing. When we have a pleasurable experience through our senses, we develop a strong attachment for that object. This develops a strong desire in us to experience the same pleasure over and over again. It is when that pleasure is unavailable or denied to us for whatever reason, we become extremely unhappy or “stressed out”. That is what causes suffering and pain in us.
The highest form of vairagya is discussed in sutra 2.163 :
“The highest Vairagya is one in which, on account of the awareness of the Purusha, there is cessation of even the desire for the three Gunas.” (2.16)
In this sutra, Patanjali talks about the highest form of vairagya which relates to the knowledge or awareness of Purusha. If you recall, Purusha is the consciousness principle or the Self. Purusha and Prakriti are the two realities mentioned in the Samkhya philosophy. Prakriti is the material counterpart of Purusha. The purpose of the practice of yoga is to understand that our true identity is nothing but the Purusha, not this mind-body complex which is a part of Prakriti. When we attain that objective, it is called self-realization. As the sutra states, this awareness of the Purusha is associated with total desirelessness of the three gunas of Prakriti.
Vairagya in the Bhagavad Gita
The concept of non-attachment has been dealt with in great depth in the Bhagavad Gita as well.
In one of the most often quoted shlokas (2.474 ), Lord Krishna says that we should do our duty without any attachment to the expected outcome of our actions. This verse can be considered as the cornerstone of the concept of Karma Yoga
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन | मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि || 47 || karmaṇy-evādhikāras te mā phaleṣhu kadāchana | mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stvakarmaṇi
“Your choice is in action only, never in the result thereof. Do not be the author of the results of action. Let your attachment not be to inaction.”(2.47)
Often our actions are motivated by some expected outcome. For example, we may work hard expecting a raise or a promotion. Non-attachment does not mean that we should not have set goals in life, or that our work is not motivated by goals. Non-attachment simply means that we are not attached to the expected outcome of our actions. We have full control only over the actions that we do. We do not have full control over what the outcome of our actions will be. However, if we don’t get the result that we expected, we feel miserable, dejected and disheartened. This is where the value of non-attachment comes in. When we understand the value of non-attachment, we accept the results of our actions without emotional upheaval. When the results are unfavorable, we can calmly analyze the whole situation and hopefully do a better job next time so that the projected goals can be achieved. This attitude will help us stay calm and peaceful in even the most difficult situations in life.
In chapter 6, Lord Krishna extols the value of keeping the mind calm under all circumstances in life. Arjuna observes that the mind is so restless that it is as hard to control as trying to control a boat in heavy wind. Lord Krishna provides the approach to calm the mind in verse 6.355 :
“Undoubtedly, the mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by constant vigorous spiritual practice (such as meditation) with perseverance and by detachment.” (6.35)
As you may notice, the approach given by Krishna in this verse – abhyasa (practice) and vairagya (non-attachment) – is the same as the one given by Patanjali in sutra 1.12.
Concluding remarks
Non-attachment does not mean non-engagement. You can be deeply engaged with members of your family, working at job to your full potential, and still be fully detached. Detachment is about developing an understanding that allows you to act without being ruled by expectations or fear of loss. We learn to accept the flow of life and can care for others without feeling stressed by the need to be in control of the outcomes. Non-attachment helps us grow spiritually while still engaging fully in day-to-day life.
[Note 1] योगश्चित्तवृत्तिनिरोधः॥२॥ yogaś-citta-vr̥tti-nirodhaḥ ॥2॥
Yoga is the cessation (nirodha) of the modifications (vrittis) of the mind-field (chitta) (1.2)
[Note 2] दृष्टानुश्रविकविषयवितृष्णस्य वशीकारसंज्ञा वैराग्यम्॥१५॥
dr̥ṣṭa-anuśravika-viṣaya-vitr̥ṣṇasya vaśīkāra-saṁjṇā vairāgyam ॥15॥
The consciousness of self-mastery in one who is free from craving for objects seen or heard about is non-attachment. (1.15)
[Note 3] तत्परं पुरुषख्यातेर्गुणवैतृष्ण्यम्॥१६॥ tatparaṁ puruṣa-khyāteḥ guṇa-vaitr̥ṣṇyam ॥16॥
The highest Vairagya is one in which, on account of the awareness of the Purusha, there is cessation of even the desire for the three Gunas. (2.16)
[Note 4] कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन | मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि || 47 || karmaṇy-evādhikāras te mā phaleṣhu kadāchana | mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stvakarmaṇi
“Your choice is in action only, never in the result thereof. Do not be the author of the results of action. Let your attachment not be to inaction.” (2.47)
[Note 5] श्रीभगवानुवाच
असंशयं महाबाहो मनो दुर्निग्रहं चलम् | अभ्यासेन तु कौन्तेय वैराग्येण च गृह्यते || 35|| śhrī bhagavān uvācha
asanśhayaṁ mahā-bāho mano durnigrahaṁ chalam
abhyāsena tu kaunteya vairāgyeṇa cha gṛihyate
Undoubtedly, the mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by constant vigorous spiritual practice (such as meditation) with perseverance and by detachment. (6.35)
[Note 6] अभ्यासवैराग्याभ्यां तन्निरोधः॥१२॥ abhyāsa-vairāgyābhyāṁ tan-nirodhaḥ ॥12॥
The restraint of these (mental modifications – vrittis) is attained by assiduous practice (abhyāsa) and dispassionate detachment (vairāgya) (1.12)
Very enlightening. It is so true Subhash, vairagya is the path towards self realization. Vairagya can be practiced with our daily family life. Again like you always say in our class , if we keep practicing using intellect over the ego thus controlling the restless mind we can find peace and joy. You explained it well. Thanks. Practicing is the difficult path. But as you said previously willpower can get us there🙏🏽
Sekaran, thanks a lot for your kind thoughts. Indeed, regular practice is the key to imbibe these values in our daily life.