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Do you have an Uncontrollable Anger?


anger

A student to Bankei (Japanese Zen master):

‘Master, I have an ungovernable temper – how can I cure it?’

‘Show me this temper,’ said Bankei, ‘it sounds fascinating.’

‘I am not angry right now,’ said the student, ‘so I can’t show it to you.’

‘Well then,’ said Bankei, ‘bring it to me when you have it.’

‘But I can’t bring it just when I happen to have it,’ protested the student. ‘It arises unexpectedly, and I would surely lose it before I got it to you.’

‘In that case,’ said Bankei, ‘it cannot be part of your true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you – so it must come into you from the outside. I suggest that whenever it gets into you, you beat yourself with a stick until the temper can’t stand it, and runs away.’

Another Buddhist saying, "Holding on to anger is like holding burning hot coal in your hand. Before you can hurl it at someone else, you are getting burned yourself".

So, what is the remedy? If you suppress it, it will explode it at a later time and cause much more damage. We need to transform or sublimate it. How? Next time you get angry, don’t throw it at someone else; just jog around the blog a couple of times, or beat the pillow insane or shout it out in your backyard. It will eventually melt away and in future, a similar situation is less likely to get you angry.

Remember the famous shlokas in Bhagvad Gita (shlokas 62 and 63 in chapter 2) usually referred to as ‘The ladder of fall’, "when we think of objects, we develop attachment to those objects. From attachment to those objects, desire is born. When desire is born, our mind gets agitated to fulfill that desire. When we cannot fulfill the desire because, others are coming in our way, we develop ANGER. When we become angry we get deluded. The delusion leads to memory loss. It is a common experience that when we become angry, we develop the loss of memory. We start seeing all sorts of things in our adversary which are not there. When there is a loss of memory, we lose the discriminative capacity as to what is right and what is wrong. When the discriminative capacity is gone, we perish mentally." 

From Wikipedia: "Anger, in its strong form, impairs one’s ability to process information and to exert cognitive control over their behavior. An angry person may lose his/her objectivity, empathy, prudence or thoughtfulness and may cause harm to others.There is a sharp distinction between anger and aggression (verbal or physical, direct or indirect) even though they mutually influence each other. While anger can activate aggression or increase its probability or intensity, it is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for aggression."

Anger is recognized as one of our most powerful enemies. It is one of the six negative tendencies usually mentioned in our scriptures – kaama (lust), krodha (anger), lobha (greed), moha (delusion), mada (arrogance), matsarya (jealousy). All these are a result of a strong negative ego (ahankara), an ego that prevents us from recognizing the real truth. According to sage Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras, by practicing the eight limbs of yoga, we can develop a keen sense of discrimination which will help us go past the ego and make us realize our true self. Patanjali also gives the concept of “pratipaksha bhavana” or the “opposite attitude” (Sutras 2.33 and 2.34) which can help overcome any negative tendency. By recognizing that these negative thoughts are the cause for infinite misery and unending ignorance, one can develop this opposite attitude. For example, when you feel angry, you may be able to develop compassion and sympathy by invoking this “opposite attitude”.

 

 

9 comments to Do you have an Uncontrollable Anger?

  • Lavanya

    that is a nice article. Loving kindness is one of the zen attributes. I think it would really help a person that anger is not part of his true nature.

    I guess that most of the times we get angry when we are tired or stressed or disorganized.

  • Subhash Mittal

    Thanks for your feedback, Lavanya. I think being tired or stressed are more like triggers of catalysts for anger. I believe the main cause for anger is unfulfilled desires and expectations. When our ego takes over and expects people to behave in ceratain ways or develop strong desires, that is what can lead to anger when these expectations are not met.

    Subhash

  • Purnima

    Thanks Subhashji for an informative newsletter. It covers a lot. Anger is your own creation, you own it. I agree that our own expectations, desires and my way or no way are main causes of anger. Thanks for sharing.

  • Shaila Mohe

    Great article about anger. The following Buddhist statement is so true, “Holding on to anger is like holding burning hot coal in your hand. Before you can hurl it at someone else, you are getting burned yourself”.

    I never hold my anger in, once I say what I have to say I forget about it and move on.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Sunil Modi

    Hey Guys: And what did you think of the Yoga Sutra audio ? I thought that was awesome. What a commitment Subhash has to teach Yoga in the most authentic way. I am in New York; otherwise I would be participating and learning with him everyday. But thanks to the web. I’ll look into joining some skype classes. Kudos.

    • Subhash Mittal

      It is great to hear from you, Sunil. Thanks a lot for your encouraging feedback. You are welcome to join our Yoga Sutra study group discussions (you can call in over the internet – Skype or google talk). We meet every second and fourth Saturday at 2 PM.

  • Subhash Mittal

    Dear Purnima,
    Thanks for your comment. We have discussed the topic of anger in our Gita class as well.

  • Jeremy

    I tried your methods…but the anger doesnt dissolve…the more i let it out the more it grows…

  • Apurva Jani

    @Jeremy : It is very rightly said in the above article that anger is not part of a person’s true nature. Rather than letting it manifest in any manner, a better approach would be to reject that which is not your true nature. This is different from suppressing it. Rejection is to simply stop identifying with this external emotion. Each time you feel angry, simply reject this vital feeling as something foreign. Eventually when you completely externalize this emotion, you will stop being controlled by it.

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